Friday, February 11, 2011

Clinging in Good times

I've been thinking about my own dependence on God in this interesting time and I believe that He has worked in my own heart to get me to this point. He constantly has been shaping me in order that I might have the faith to be where I am today. I believe He does this in different ways for each of His children. He gives us just enough encouragement to keep us going and enough heart ache to keep us clinging to Him.

The disappointing part for me is my lack of realized dependence on Him when times are good. I have been asked if I feel like a modern day Job, or just a simple question "How are you really doing right now?" with the thought that maybe I am not really ok or that I am going though something too hard for me to handle. I appreciate the concern, I really do, but God has pounded on me enough over the past few years that He has made me ready for what He is bringing, and He has done the same for you if you are one of His children.

So back to the point of this post- why do I wander when times are good? It is so irritating. I want to cling to Him like I currently am all the time and as soon as there is breathing room it seems I am back to looking to my own understanding and not looking to Him.

Oh for the time when all is consumed with all the He is, but I guess that is only when we are promoted to our new Home. I want so much to live like that here but I guess that's the fighting of flesh and living as a sojourner. Maybe today will be the day we can go Home and not have to fight this body of sin anymore. Jesus- return for Your people today.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

What's Next?

Ten years ago I was contemplating very seriously leaving Les Schwab after 18 years. Ten years ago there was much uncertainty about what the future would look like and if starting a granite company would be a good thing, but I didn't really give much thought to the idea that it would not be successful; was that pride or naivety? Maybe it was both.

Ten years on that "coaster" has given me much joy, many new friends, some hard work, hopefully a large group of satisfied clients and now a closed door. All of our family, except John, has been able to work at PG and that was fun. We have been able to travel to parts of the world we may have never been able to see and cross paths with friends we would never have met. We have built long lasting relationships and learned much about partnerships. We have grown.

So "what's next?" is now the question I hear most often, connected with "Are you ok?". So I will answer the 2nd first and the 1st second.

Yes, I certainly am ok, in fact I am more than ok. I can know for certain that I have done everything in my power and used every resource available to me to stay where I was and just as God showed His faithfulness in keeping Grant alive and in bringing John to our family, I know that much of life does not depend on me, but rather is Him leading us where He would have us go. I had been praying, and had asked others to pray as well, that He would make it very clear to me where He would have us to go and that requires doors opening AND closing. He made it clear.

How can one be good with being unemployed in this economy and at this stage in life? I can only tell you that I know He has a plan for me and He has been faithful for generations and HE will not stop being faithful today or tomorrow. I know that according to Eph. 2:10 He has work planned for me as long as I have breath here and as soon as there is no more work there will be no more breath. He promises to supply all our needs and He is faithful in that as well. I am not relying on my resources but His and His resources are much greater than mine.

So back to question #1. What's next? i am not sure what I am going to do but I am excited about where He is leading me and what He has planned. We are not promised the "bread" or the "fish" but something better and so I am excited to see what the "better" thing is. Will it be in the stone industry or not? I am not sure. I have many contacts around the world and I really enjoy this business, but I just don't know yet. I want to be somewhere that I can assist in building a great team again and a place I can make a difference in people's lives. I want to be somewhere I can freely tell of God's goodness and faithfulness and be a light into this dark world. I want to be more involved with widows and orphans, if possible in Ethiopia, but not limiting where He leads. I just want to be used by Him to encourage people as they walk with Him. I want people to see that living for Christ is worth the "trouble and heartache" and that there is joy in serving Him, even if we are not in control.

Please pray for my heart to be satisfied in Him and that Teresa would have peace in this un-secure storm. He is good and kind and He NEVER fails.