I've been thinking about my own dependence on God in this interesting time and I believe that He has worked in my own heart to get me to this point. He constantly has been shaping me in order that I might have the faith to be where I am today. I believe He does this in different ways for each of His children. He gives us just enough encouragement to keep us going and enough heart ache to keep us clinging to Him.
The disappointing part for me is my lack of realized dependence on Him when times are good. I have been asked if I feel like a modern day Job, or just a simple question "How are you really doing right now?" with the thought that maybe I am not really ok or that I am going though something too hard for me to handle. I appreciate the concern, I really do, but God has pounded on me enough over the past few years that He has made me ready for what He is bringing, and He has done the same for you if you are one of His children.
So back to the point of this post- why do I wander when times are good? It is so irritating. I want to cling to Him like I currently am all the time and as soon as there is breathing room it seems I am back to looking to my own understanding and not looking to Him.
Oh for the time when all is consumed with all the He is, but I guess that is only when we are promoted to our new Home. I want so much to live like that here but I guess that's the fighting of flesh and living as a sojourner. Maybe today will be the day we can go Home and not have to fight this body of sin anymore. Jesus- return for Your people today.