Saturday, October 16, 2010

Anger and Patience

Life on earth is so...

Last night, actually yesterday, was a day that reminds me of my sinfulness and of the work that God is doing in my life and those around me.

I was asked to speak for Grandparent's Day at GA and I talked a bit about Kimmy's growth and the encouragement to lead a godly life that she, and our boys, were able to watch in the lives of the staff and teachers at GA. I talked about how important it is for each one of us to live in such a way so that others may know that we love Jesus and this would give them the desire to live for Him as well.

Then I went to work and there was some drama here that is reminiscent of Jr. High girls and then to John's soccer game where I was once again reminded of the way that I don't want to live and parent. I was frankly pretty discouraged by what I am seeing in some of the lives of the students. And then, even though Teresa tried to protect me from this, I went home to a house full of Jr. High girls and their silly, selfishness.

This is the thing that irritates me; I just talked about living like I love Jesus and then was impatient with the girls. It doesn't matter that they have little respect for others, it doesn't matter that they are not often serious, it doesn't matter that tomorrow they may not take a breath, what matters is that they see Jesus in me even when I am less than excited about how they are living. "Irritated noise" here.

I want some much for our students to get it and I want even more for me to get it and it is so irritating that we both are so sinful and selfish. I can't save them from themselves and I can't make them understand, by talking, that they are going the wrong way, I can only live it out in front of them and their parents to show them that there is a better way and yesterday I totally blew a great opportunity. I am sure that God will give me more opportunities at patience and I am sadly sure that I will fail again.

Oh to be in Heaven where this will be all behind us and we can just worship perfectly the One who is our perfect example of anger and patience. Pray for our youth leaders- we, especially I, need it.

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