Glorious Tattoo

SKH taught last week on Abram being a man of faith and yet back and forth he went in periods of great belief followed by periods of seemingly almost no faith. I can relate, irritatingly enough. I think if others could see into our "faith tanks" they would look to see them over flowing and maybe even the next minute being dusty dry. I hate that about my own faith and as I read today's Morning and Evening I was reminded of how the Israelites were and how I am. Maybe you can also relate.

‎"Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." --Isaiah 49:16

"The word "behold" sets this statement apart from the previous sentence where the people of God cried out in unbelief, saying, "The Lord has forsaken me, and my God has forgotten me." How amazed God seems to be at this wicked unbelief! What can be more astounding than the unfounded doubts and fears of God's favored people? The Lord's loving word of rebuke should make us blush; He cries, "How can I have forgotten you, when I have engraved you on the palms of my hands? How dare you doubt my thoughts for you when I have placed your memory on my very flesh?"

Unbelief is a very strange thing! We don't know which to wonder at the most-- the faithfulness of God or the unbelief of His people. He keeps His promise a thousand times, and yet the next trial makes us doubt Him. He never fails; He is never a dry well; He is never as a setting sun, a passing meteor, or a melting vapor; and yet we are as continually troubled with anxieties and disturbed with fears as if our God were a mirage in the desert.

We ought to "behold" with admiration the very thought that rebels like ourselves should have a place so near the heart of infinite love as to be written upon the palms of His hands. God doesn't merely say, "I have engraved your name," but, "I have engraved you"-- your very person, your image, your circumstances, your sins-- everything about you, all that concerns you.

Will you ever say again that your God has forsaken you when He has engraved you on the palms of His own hands? "[

Anger and Patience

Life on earth is so...

Last night, actually yesterday, was a day that reminds me of my sinfulness and of the work that God is doing in my life and those around me.

I was asked to speak for Grandparent's Day at GA and I talked a bit about Kimmy's growth and the encouragement to lead a godly life that she, and our boys, were able to watch in the lives of the staff and teachers at GA. I talked about how important it is for each one of us to live in such a way so that others may know that we love Jesus and this would give them the desire to live for Him as well.

Then I went to work and there was some drama here that is reminiscent of Jr. High girls and then to John's soccer game where I was once again reminded of the way that I don't want to live and parent. I was frankly pretty discouraged by what I am seeing in some of the lives of the students. And then, even though Teresa tried to protect me from this, I went home to a house full of Jr. High girls and their silly, selfishness.

This is the thing that irritates me; I just talked about living like I love Jesus and then was impatient with the girls. It doesn't matter that they have little respect for others, it doesn't matter that they are not often serious, it doesn't matter that tomorrow they may not take a breath, what matters is that they see Jesus in me even when I am less than excited about how they are living. "Irritated noise" here.

I want some much for our students to get it and I want even more for me to get it and it is so irritating that we both are so sinful and selfish. I can't save them from themselves and I can't make them understand, by talking, that they are going the wrong way, I can only live it out in front of them and their parents to show them that there is a better way and yesterday I totally blew a great opportunity. I am sure that God will give me more opportunities at patience and I am sadly sure that I will fail again.

Oh to be in Heaven where this will be all behind us and we can just worship perfectly the One who is our perfect example of anger and patience. Pray for our youth leaders- we, especially I, need it.

The Prize

Here is a good reminder from Thomas Brooks. What is our prize? For what do we run and strive? Earthly pleasure often take our focus off of Heaven and sometimes it takes the diminishing of those things, or the thought of it, to refocus our gaze on the eternal.

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail--but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever!" Psalm 73:25-26

"God sometimes strips His people of their nearest and dearest earthly mercies--that they may the more prize, and the better taste--of spiritual and heavenly mercies!

God takes away uncertain riches--that His people may the more prize certain riches!

God takes away natural strength--that His people may the more prize spiritual strength!

God takes away the creature--that His people may more prize their Savior.

Spiritual and heavenly things can alone satisfy the soul. The language of a godly man is this, 'Ah, Lord! the good earthly things which I have from You, though they may refresh me--yet they cannot satisfy me without Yourself!'"

Fancy Feast

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love!" Song of Solomon 2:4

This thought is from John MacDuff and I just want to highlight a few of the things he brings out in his devotional on this verse.

Imagine the buzz around this banqueting table. Have you ever been to a really fancy banquet, the kind that has too many pieces of silverware to know exactly which fork to use? This is the kind that has the fancy napkins, a bunch of glasses and stemware, staff walking around making sure you have everything you need almost before you need it.

There's coming a day when we will be feasting at the table of the King of all kings and this will be a banquet like we have never seen or tasted before. The very best of food, and what will that be like? Maybe we will know exactly what we are eating, maybe we won't know at all, maybe it will be so delicious we won't care what it is. The Father has the best chefs and the best ingredients.

When I go to a fancy dinner I have to pace myself because I know I can't eat too much because I will get too full too soon, and I also don't want to gain 20 lbs in one meal. This, somehow will not be the case. Teresa said the other day that people want really good food without the guilt when they eat it- well in Heaven this is precisely what we will have.

So, back to the table. Sitting around the table talking about what life was like on earth, maybe those talking about first century martyrdom, the few from the dark ages talking about how they got saved, the Reformers talking about what trials and hardship they went through, our grandparents talking about the Depression and maybe us talking about "The Economy". If the trials weren't here we would not long so much for those coming days. If our life here on earth was just one fancy dinner after another we would not be looking forward, with such great anticipation, to the days that are coming.

Think about no guilt in eating, but also that there will never be a "good bye", never another sickness or lost to talk about from today's news; it will all be in the past and the future could not look brighter. There will be no more wondering about what tomorrow holds because it will be the brightest and cheeriest of forecasts.

And maybe best of all- we will no longer be distracted by our own sinfulness and pride. There will be no sin to fight. Imagine, no wrong attitudes, no lusting after the wrong things, no jealousy or gossiping, just pure worship and enjoyment of the King in our new Home.

"What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be"
Author unknown to me.

Maybe the first meal will be today. I am so excited to see the glories of Heaven and leave the heartache and cares of earthly life, but until He takes me Home I have some work to do here for the King.

Trust, Hope and Wait- along with prayer and work

Ezra 8:22 "The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him."

Dan. 3:17 "If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king."

In both of these narratives there is a strong trust in God to save His people, so much so that they were willing to lay it "On the line" to follow Him. Ezra had told this to the king and then they fasted and prayed that God would do what He had promised and they had told the King. What would it have looked like if they had said they didn't need protection because God would take care of them and then they had asked, or had not asked and then been attacked? Wouldn't that put God in an unfavorable light to the watching world?

In the case of the young Israelites, they completely trusted that their God could bring them through the furnace, though they didn't know exactly how, and yet they also knew that if God did allow the furnace to consume them that God would care for them beyond the furnace.

I find myself in this kind of area more than I would have imagined a few years ago. If I am telling people that God can carry us through this time, and I completely believe He has the power and ability to do that, then what will happen if He doesn't? There will be those who will say, or think, that I trusted the wrong "thing", or that I should have gone out and asked for help from outsiders.

As I consider what He wants me to put "On the line" it is difficult to discern the extent of what that might look like; how much to put down. His ways are not our ways and His thought are not our thoughts and that is so apparent to me as I try to figure just a little of this out.

I am also unsure of where my part ends and His part starts. It is hard to know when "wrestling with God" over an issue is the right thing to do, or if just resting in His care is best. Much pleading and entreating, followed by working my side is all I can do, but how long to we ask before we are nagging? Paul asked 3 times, but I have asked more than 300; has He already answered and this IS His answer?

One thing I do know is that I am truly confident in His ability, but I am not sure of His will. If He wants to turn this around I completely believe He can do that today and it will not be hard for Him; does He want to do that?

So I continue to pray that He would show Himself strong and faithful, as I know He is, because I don't want the world to say, "You trusted in God, that He would deliver you, now let Him deliver you". This of course was directed at Jesus, Who is our perfect example of putting it "On the line", and the world has been debating this for the past 2k years.

I still believe Father but help my unbelief as I trust You to care for our needs. There is no doubt in my mind that You can do all things, but I am not sure if you will. You have built my faith to trust You and Your Word and I can only hold up my cup of salvation and ask you to fill it again. You filled it everyday for me and You must fill it again if it is to be filled. I rest in Your care. Don't let the world think that I have put my trust in the wrong place. Show Yourself as You truly are to me.

God is Rejoicing over His People

"I will rejoice over [my people] to do them good."
--Jeremiah 32:41

"How encouraging to the believer is God's delight in His saints! We have no reason in ourselves why the Lord should take pleasure in us. Indeed, we too often can take no delight in ourselves for we have to groan being burdened, conscious of our sinfulness and deploring our unfaithfulness. Other Christians seldom delight in us either; too often they see our many imperfections; they would rather lament our infirmities than admire our graces." Spurgeon- Morning and Evening

It's always interesting to me how God does these kinds of things. As I was walking and praying this morning I was thinking about why would God bless me/PG. I have no goodness of my own, in fact often I am the opposite of good. My heart it deceitful and desperately wicked and here I am pleading with Him to bless us more than He already has. Even as I worship and pray I am often distracted and forget where I am and what I am doing and just go through the motions. How could I say that I really love Him when I do these kinds of things? And, why would He then want to bless me when I act this way?

And then I come back and read this morning's topic and I am reminded that it doesn't depend on me for Him to love me, it only is because He is gracious. The rest of this morning topic is about how He doesn't rejoice over creation like He does us, He doesn't even rejoice over the angels; we are unique in all of creation because even as fallen creature, who often do the wrong thing, He delights- He shouts for joy- over His children.

So, as we get irritated with our own fallen state and how we so quickly run to other affections and sinful things, as we look at other believers and see their lack of righteous living and dwell on their faults rather than the spiritual gifts that God has blessed them with we must remind ourselves that God loves His children and He longs to do them good, including us personally who, maybe in our minds, are the least deserving to be blessed.

Why should He love us so much? Well, humanly speaking, He shouldn't, but we are not talking in human terms when we are talking about God's love for His creation. Rejoice in His love- so undeserved- for you today.

Can Losing be Best?

2 Cor. 12:7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

For most of my life I have wanted to win. It didn't really matter how small the item was, I could make myself play/work much harder if I could convince myself I was wining. For example; I like to can all kinds of things because it seems like when you're done that you've got away with something; like you're "cheating" in some way because now you don't have to pay for that.

But now that I have been through probably, and hopefully, more than half my earthly life I am finding that I am really not "winning" much these days and may not "win" much in the future. The economic signs are less than promising, business for PG is congruent with that and that has been the measure of much of my previous success; if business is good, I am "good".

These verses are a good reminder to me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be in God's economy. Paul, seemingly, had the same issue as many of us; the tendency to think more highly of himself than he ought, and it seems like at least a portion of that came from success in his endeavors. God had placed him in those situations of success, so he clearly was doing what God had planned for him, but there was a tendency to boast in those same victories. His greatest strengths was also his weaknesses.

When he asked the Lord 3 times to remove whatever was his thorn in the flesh and God left it there as a reminder that he was weak and since God left it there Paul would have to rely much more on Christ with it there than if it were gone. I guess I can relate to that better now. Maybe I am closer to that place in my own life than I want to admit. If being weak forces me to admit that I'm am losing, I am not so excited to do that humanly speaking.

But, with Paul, I must also say spiritually, that if being weak keeps me in the right place spiritually, then I want to "boast" in my weakness, because now I can say that this is where God wants me to be, even though it is hard and scary. I told Jim Martin, more than a year ago, that as hard as it is, I don't necessarily want to get out of the hard times because they are the same things that have brought me closest to Christ.

So, as I am awake at much too early in the morning, because I am not sleeping too well thinking about what might be coming, I am at least excited to watch God work all this weakness out into the open so He can be made glorious as my own weakness is displayed. This is not where I would put myself if I were Him, but where I am content to be because I am not Him and I know that He will give only what is best.

This also is a good reminder that maybe the state of weakness and "losing" is going to be where I am for a long time; maybe even until I go Home, and I have to learn to be content in that. In "Morning and Evening" the other day, Spurgeon gave this idea and I paraphrase; It is also a great comfort to know that since He has me right here, He provides the strength for me to go Through each and every trial, not to get out of them. He allows the thorn to stay, but in each little poking of the thorn there is also the reminder that He gives the perfect amount of grace to endure that same poking.

Please pray that I would remember these things and be continually praising Him for the trials that He allows, even though they are hard. I need to figure out sooner, rather than later, that this is where I am going to be probably for quite a while and maybe I should quit praying that God would take me out of this place. The answer to the post heading I think is, "yes, if God is most glorified".