God in the Darkest Night

Lots happening these days around the Weinberg house. 

Today we welcomed a Japanese exchange student for the next 3 weeks, Grant is working on his 2nd week of a new career, Dad is launching about 5 new things all at once and mom is left trying to figure out how to make all the things stay together with everyone going from place to place.

I started meetings early this am and got home at 9:30 and while driving home with one of my partners we talked about what is coming down the pipe, where God is taking us and how it seems like not much is within our control.

While I certainly have no lack of opportunities to distract me and there is not a want of things to do, I do wonder lately what God wants from me and how low He may let me/us go before He shows me more of His plan.

When we had nothing and remained at nothing it was pretty ok, but when you increase your stuff, habits and expenditures, then it becomes a little harder to go back to nothing. Is that what God wants? _________ (Long pause), not sure right now.

I'm not really that attached to all this stuff but it does make for some great opportunities to minister to others and, frankly, we are spoiled ourselves in this ridiculous house, but...

I am reminded of Hab. 1:17 and following-
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the deer's;
    he makes me tread on my high places.

When life is crazy and abundance flies in our faces, well, it's easy to take that for granted. When there is a lot more month than there is money that is a whole different story. 

So what does God want from us/me today? Maybe you are finding yourself asking the same question. 

The following song seems to be a great solution to where we are currently living and as much as it resonates in my heart it kind of ruffles my feathers a bit as well. All God has to do is say the word and business comes in like a flood. He has everything at His disposal to turn a very "red month" into a large "black month" and yet at this exact moment in time it doesn't seem like He is ready to do that for us.

He knows exactly what I need and while on one hand that is comforting on the other hand I think, "Really is this what is best for us right now?".

We shall find out soon enough. While I hope and pray He changes the course soon but the only guarantee I have is that He is in control and He knows what's best. 

Hang on Baby, the roller coaster ride is certainly not over yet. 

BTW- it's been a long time since it has rained here in multiple ways. JS

As Long as You Are Glorified
Sovereign Grace Music

"Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings 
Yet not welcome any pain
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt

CHORUSOh let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long 
As You are glorified

VERSE 2Are You good only when I prosper 
And true only when I’m filled
Are You King only when I’m carefree 
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy 
You are true when I’m parched and dry 
You still reign in the deepest valley 
You’re still God in the darkest night

BRIDGESo quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart in You"


Please quiet my heart Father- make me know you are not only there but that You have everything under Your control and plan and that You know what is best, even when I resist, try too hard, work too much, worry too often and grumble because it seems like You're purposely making me wait. You have to do that because I won't without you doing it.

Affliction- blessings the Lord gives w/o requiring us to ask for it

This one is longer, but will be very profitable for those undergoing severe trials of any kind. This is all from
Charles Bridges but I thought you might be encouraged as I was.

"I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me!" Psalm 119:75

"This is the Christian's acknowledgment: he is fully satisfied with God's ordering of his affairs. 

"The Lord's dealings are called his judgments--not as having judicial curses--but as the acts of His justice in the chastening of sin and in the administration of their measure and application.

In regard to himself, David acknowledges the Lord's particular faithfulness. And this he knew, not from the dictates of the flesh (which give the exact opposite verdict)--but from the testimony of the Word and the witness of his own experience. It could not be doubted, much less denied, "I know, O Lord, that Your rules of proceeding are agreeable to Your perfect justice and wisdom. I am equally satisfied that the afflictions which You have laid upon me from time to time, are only to fulfill Your gracious and faithful promise of making me eternally happy in Yourself." 

How blessed is the fruit of affliction, when we can see God in it--that He is of great compassion and of tender mercy; that His thoughts toward us are thoughts of peace, and not of evil! This is a difficult, but most comforting lesson in deciphering the mysteries of God's providence.

Under the severest chastisement, the child of God must acknowledge divine justice. Our gracious reward is always more, and our chastisement always less--than our iniquities deserve. "Why should a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?" Indeed, he is in trouble--but he is not in Hell! If he complains, then let it be of no one but himself and his own wayward choices. "I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right," and who can doubt God's perfect wisdom? 

Who would charge the surgeon with cruelty, in cutting out the cancerous flesh that was bringing death upon the man? Who would not acknowledge the right judgment of his piercing work?

So when the Lord's painful work . . .
  separates us from our sin, 
  weans us from the world, 
  and brings us nearer to Himself--
what remains for us, but thankfully to acknowledge His faithfulness and love?

The assurance of the Lord's perfect justice, wisdom, and intimate knowledge of our respective cases--leads us to yield to His ordering of our affairs in filial silence. 

Thus Aaron, under his most grievous domestic calamity, "held his peace." 

Job, under a similar painful dispensation, was enabled to say, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" 

Eli's language in the same trial was, "It is the Lord. Let him do what seems good to Him." 

David hushed his impatient spirit, saying, "I was silent, I did not open my mouth, because You are the one who has done this!" And when Shimei cursed him, he said, "Let him alone, and let him curse; for the Lord has ordered him." 

Hezekiah kissed the rod, while it was smiting him to the dust, "The word of the Lord which you have spoken, is good." 

This is the consistent language of the Lord's people under chastisement: "I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right!"

The confession of justice may, however, be mere natural conviction. Faith goes further and speaks of divine faithfulness. David not only acknowledges God's right to deal with him as He saw fit, and His wisdom in dealing with him as He actually had done--but he saw also God's faithfulness in afflicting--not faithfulness though He afflicted--but IN afflicting him; not as if it were simply consistent with His love--but that it was the very fruit of His love! 

Just so, it is not enough for us to justify God in His providential dealings with us. We have abundant cause to thank andpraise Him! It is not enough to cease from murmuring at God's afflictive dealings with us. We must realize that they are a faithful display of His mercy and love to us!
Yes, the trials appointed for us, are nothing less than the faithful performance of God's everlasting promises. And to this cause, we may always trace the reason of much that is painful to the flesh, even though it may not be apparent to our eyes. If we determine to take note of its gracious effects in our restoration--needful instruction, healing of our backslidings, and the continual purging of sins--then we can say, "The faithfulness of God is gloriously displayed!" 

The Philistines could not understand Samson's riddle--how meat could come out of the eater, and sweetness come out of the strong. In the same way the world can little comprehend the fruitfulness of God, in the Christian's trials--how his gracious Lord can sweeten the bitter waters, and make the painful affliction--the remedy of sin. 

The Christian, then, finds no inclination in having any change made in the Lord's providential appointments, distasteful as they may be to the flesh. He readily acknowledges that God's merciful designs could not have been accomplished in any other way. Under such painful trials, many sweet tokens of divine love are granted--which under circumstances of outward prosperity, could not have been received with the same gratitude and delight.

Affliction is the special token of our heavenly Father's love. It brings us into conformity to the image of Jesus, and prepares us for His service and kingdom. Affliction is the only blessing that the Lord gives without requiring us to ask for it. We receive it, therefore, as promised, not as threatened. When the "peaceable fruits of righteousness," which it brings about in God's time and way, spring up in our hearts--then humbly and gratefully we will acknowledge the righteousness of His judgments and the faithfulness of His corrections.

You who are living at ease in the indulgence of what this poor world can afford--how little does the Christian envy your portion! In some future day, you will surely be taught by experience to envy his! To the Christian, the world's riches are daily becoming poorer, and its pleasures more tasteless. And what will they be, and how will they appear, when eternity is at hand!!" 

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Waiting, for the LAST Moment

Playing the waiting game is not the kind of game I enjoy. Have you ever heard or even said, "The anticipation of a vacation is as much fun as the trip"? If the trip is going to be so fun shouldn't it just stand on its own once you are on it?

Let's go back to Christmas as a kid. Was Christmas day as amazing and the entire month's expectancy in my head? Not so much. I have wasted so many Decembers in anticipation of the 25th it's embarrassing. 

So, waiting; what's so good about it? Is it different for a Christian than it is for someone who is not? I’m going to add in this passage because it seems fitting for those who are waiting and working and waiting some more.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
    and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
    and my right is disregarded by my God”?
 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
 He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.

As I contemplate the stories in the OT there are many that had to do with people waiting on God to deliver them, bring them something or make something out of nothing. I can’t think of one incident when God “showed up” early and delivered with a month to spare.

1 Kings 17 is the story of Elijah, the widow and the drought. Elijah had told Ahab that there would be no rain in Israel unless Elijah asked God to make it rain; there were others in the Israel beside Ahab; Elijah was there and so was this widow and her son.

Elijah’s brook dried up and so God told him to go find this widow who would feed him. Do you suppose Elijah was thinking she had extra food and water? Picture in your mind what this widow looked like. What was this widow thinking before Elijah showed up? We actually get to know what she was thinking because she tells Elijah, but first…

Elijah gets to her place and asks her for some water; really? There’s a drought; where is she supposed to get water for him? Even as she was going to get the water Elijah asks her to bring him some bread. Did she know who this was? The passage doesn’t say that she had a bad attitude about getting the water or the bread, it just tells us her reply.  “As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die.” Now picture again what this widow looked like; probably something like the starving people we see but “don’t see”.

Now if I am Elijah I am feeling pretty humbled right about now. I just asked this widow for water and bread and that’s her response. I might even be questioning God’s judgment right now with something like, “You told me to come here because this widow is to feed me and she doesn’t even have enough food for herself”.

Except that Elijah knows the God of this story has a plan for this woman. This woman woke up that morning thinking she was going to prepare her last meal and die and Elijah and God show up and change the story around.

She didn’t have 5 jars of flour left and 6 jugs of oil. She was on her last of both and she was still prepared to share it with Elijah.

Do you suppose she was praying all along that God would bring her rain, flour and oil? Do you suppose she had given up hope that God would actually deliver her? It seems like it.

In our own lives there are times that it seems we are down to the last possible moment, cent or breath and there is no other way out and God “shows up” and restores. He doesn’t do this when we have “5 bags of flour left” any more than He did that for the widow, but He does deliver; in His time, in His way, for His people.

"The believer who waits for the Lord endures the delay in a spirit of confidence... waiting with expectancy and yet with the humility that defers to His timing and methods. True faith is not leverage to force God’s hand. True faith waits for God in a posture of confident submission." Ortlund

He’s coming. Don’t worry. But don’t be thinking He’s coming “early” because He’s coming at exactly the right time. His time.

Cliff Driving- next chapter

Life is full of change and some people have a lot more change than others; I guess I would have to say that I fit into the first category.

Thinking back just one short week ago, life was different. Thinking back 2-1/2 years ago, life was different. Thinking back 12 years ago, life was different. And all the way back almost 30 years ago, life was different.

Those are pretty significant markers in my own life and in the life of our family. T and I got married almost 30 years ago. Singleness has some freedoms that being married doesn't afford and yet I don't want to be single, to have those freedoms, if I get to choose.

Having a very "secure" income has some nice advantages and it also comes with some disadvantages as well. A little more than 12 years ago I left a secure postion with a secure company for something very unfamiliar and with no security. I left that red and white building because I didn't believe 100% anymore. A good reason to walk away but none the less, kind of scary.

A short 2-1/2 years ago our lives really were turned upside-down and in the span of just a couple of months we left a family that we had grown to know and love very deeply as well as a business that we started from the ground up. Both decisions were gut wrenching as well as almost unexpected. We hadn't planned to leave either and yet in the end we knew that it was God's perfect timing in both cases. That didn't take the pain or confusion away but God has been kind to show us that he knew what was best all along, in tangible ways. 

Just a short week ago the financial picture looked a lot different than it does today. I left a position that had a lot of title and not a lot of financial backing; there was some financial though. And as has been the case in all the other moves previously, the reason for leaving was the "100%" issue. 

So what's so important about 100% for me and why does it always require leaving? 

I'm pretty much an all or nothing kind of person. I don't know if that's right or wrong, really I don't, I do know it's the way I do pretty much everything. For the steady ones this can be frustrating but if it's good enough to get my attention, it will get ALL of my attention. If not then it probably won't get any of it. 

I want to believe that what I am involved with is the best and brightest, fastest, coolest and brings the most value to someone's life. I don't have time to waste on things that are not producing and improving because I can't endorse those kinds of things to my friends. That's what I want to do; give you a solution to your problem.

So why leaving and who sets the time? 

Great question and I wish I knew. It does seem like most of these decisions have been a little "water-shed" moments. These leavings were not necessarily planned by myself but looking back, they do seem to have been perfectly orchestrated by God to have me leaving at a specific time, even though I might not have known why or even had been fully ready to leave at that moment.

So, why would I leave some money for no money and what does the future look like for us now?

God has given me pretty strong faith. The faith is not necessarily in me and that can be problematic-ish. Meaning, it might take less faith to stay when you don't believe than it does to leave. I believe that God has uniquely made me for a specific purpose. Maybe that is to show the world how NOT to do it, though I hope that is not the case. I have a yearning to be an example of one who follows God, do what I believe to be right and then watch God put all the pieces together.

My faith is a little in who God made me and A LOT in Who He is. He tells me that "the righteous will never be forsaken" and my issue is not that I don't believe God, it's that I don't know if I am "the righteous". I know that God provides all we need, but I sometimes wonder what the ratio is between need and fluff in my life. Does He want all this stuff to prove a point? Maybe, I guess we will see pretty soon.

God has shown His kindness and mercy to our family in so many ways and for sure he will need to show Himself in a mighty way in the coming days. I am not wavering on His ability but rather wondering my own worthiness of those gifts.

Hopefully that makes sense. Please pray that God would provide for our family as we work hard to try to discern what His direction is for us. It is always fun to watch Him work, but sometimes driving this close to the cliff , even when He's driving, is a little nerve-racking. This is a real life example of "I believe Lord, help my unbelief".

Sorry it's loquacious but you all know that this is how I am. If you don't know what that means, look it up. My picture will be next to it in the dictionary:)

Beautiful, Scandalous Night

Growing up as a kid I often heard about Good Friday but I never knew what it was, except for the Friday before Easter. I wondered what was so good about Good Friday. Why did they call it Good Friday anyway?

Time passes and I have learned more and I am beginning to understand what is so good about this day of the year. 

Without this day of the year there would be no resurrection day. SKH gave the idea that it is much more glorious to have a resurrection than to never have dies in the first place- we know this first hand on 2 counts in our family with Grant's being dead for 40 minutes and then being resurrected and knowing the power of Christ's resurrection in our own lives.

This is an interesting poem below but it tells well the meaning of Good Friday and is a good reminder that without this day and the following resurrection we Christians would have no hope. 

Beautiful, Scandalous Night

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flowed
For you and for me and for all

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered 

At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that poured
From our blessed Savior's side

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

Hope- we have hope, something that many of our friends only long to have and look for in so many places that don't deliver. Good Friday is the saddest, most tragic day in the history of man and yet it has to be the most glorious day, when He took away our sins and offers new life- resurrection life- to all who will come to this terrible and beautiful instrument of death we call a cross.

I am attaching a link here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ_zoTufzBY so you can listen to the above song.I hope you are encouraged or perplexed at the words- if perplexed I'd love to talk to you. If encouraged, tell someone about why you are encouraged.

Death brings life- die to live. It wasn't easy for Jesus so it certainly won't be easy for us. But easy things have little value and hard things often have the greatest value in the end.

Have a glorious Resurrection day on Sunday.

Perfect Timing

Yesterday I was talking with a close friend of mine about finances and their job and it came up that they have been waiting for a full-time position at work, have been told numerous times they will get that position soon which would result in a raise in pay and of course more stability for the family.

They asked, "What should I do? Do I just let them take their time or should I go and bring it up again?" 

I know the value this person has to the company and so my suggestion was to go again and say "What can I do to add more value to the company so I am able to go full-time?"

Well God always has an awesome way of working things out. This morning the person went in to the manager and asked that question while reminding him of the previous promises and that there is currently more month than money coming in and here is the response they got; "This could not have come at a more perfect time. The president of the company will be here this week, we need to add another person to do the work that you have been doing and so I will recommend you as the best person for the job and he normally listens to what I say and tells me to do that".

How could it be, other than God working it out, that their request came at the perfect time? God directs the hearts of leaders in all areas, including work.

Notice that there was a need to go and ask. We often don't have because we don't ask-right? So, God does expect us to work hard and to do the necessary things to be promotable but He is certainly the One who works out all the details.

Such a great story- thanks for sharing my friend.

You Can Do It!

So it's February and the gyms will start to see their daily attendance decrease as this month flows into next month. The health food aisles in the grocery stores were much busier last week than they are this week because today is the superbowl and people party and eat too much of the wrong things and drink too much. We start well and end poorly in many areas of our lives by the end of 2013 many of the things we "want to do" will be back on the shelf until Jan 1st comes in 2014.

I hear people say "I want to get in shape", "I have to start eating better", "I'm going to do such and such to change my life", but why doesn't it stick? Why do we so easily fall back into the same old routines that got us to the place where we are tired, poor, unhappy and overweight? 

If we know what we shouldn't do why do we seem to always go back to doing that thing that irritates us about ourselves when we know for certain that if we could just change "x" our lives would be much better?

Well, you're probably not going to like this anymore than I do but I will contend that the reason we keep doing "that thing" is because we want to.

Now that is really bad news on our part because if it is true then the only one we can blame for the spot we are in, whether this subject is health, finances, spiritual growth, relationships or whatever, it comes down to the person we see when we look in the mirror.

We like to say that we have some disorder, disease, some genetic issue or a myriad of other things that might be causing us to do "this thing" but in reality almost everything in life is our fault. 

In the circles that I run with there is a saying, "We always do what we most want to do" and that is very true. Let me give an example of what this might look like.

Many people are habitually late to practice, church, school or whatever else is not fun but they are early to the ice cream social, movies, sleep over, concert, football game or the fishing trip. How could this be if the above statement is not true?

So, if our lives are not headed in the direction that we want who is ultimately responsible for that direction? We are. And if we are going to change what will it take to bring about lasting change? We have to actually want to change- really want to change.

I recently saw a man sleeping in a meeting. This man doesn't look like he's in great physical shape and he obviously is tired. He realized he was sleeping so he did the right thing and got up out of his chair and stood up- that's a great start- but accompanied with that was the desire to go get a sugary snack. Did he want to stay awake? Maybe, but if he really wanted to stay awake there would have been little that could have made him fall asleep in the first place.

Everyday we start off with a clean slate and we can change the way we live- yup we. Unfortunately we are easily distracted by the easier way. It's easier to do the same things we have always done and to do them in the same exact way.

We are often afraid to start something new because we know ourselves and we know we are quitters and so it's better not to start and then fail again, or is it?

NO! It is better to start even if we are going to quit. It's better to exercise for 2 weeks than to never exercise. It's better to read your Bible for 3 months than to not read it at all. It's better to eat right until June than to always eat poorly. All these things are cumulative, meaning that the effort or discipline stacks up.

But what will make it stick? How can we make it through the entire year and then all the way through the next year and then to the end of our lives? 

I think there are some helpful things to consider.

Surround yourself with like minded people. If you really want to stop eating donuts, don't hang out in the donut store. If you want to stop drinking, don't go to the bar. If you want to exercise then go to the place where it's easiest for you to engage in those activities. If you want to read your Bible more then surround yourself with people who are excited about reading their Bibles as well.

Have someone who will hold your feet to the fire. Tell someone that you know, love and  trust to hold you accountable to not eat donuts, to not drink, to ask you if you've been to the bar the week or to come over and pick you up so you do go exercise. A little external motivation is good.

Replace your old lifestyle choices with new and healthier ones. Eat vegetables instead of donuts. Drink a healthy drink instead of alcohol. Take up walking instead of watching TV or take dancing lessons instead of sitting home and watching Dancing with the Stars. If you don't fill up that hole then the tide of "I've always done it that way" will come back in and fill it right back up.

I think most of all it is a matter that we really must want to do what we set out to do. It has to come from deep within ourselves or it won't last. We have to get sick and tired and decide that we are never going back to that way of life and then God will help us to change. Until then it's going to be a lot of work and a lot of stopping and starting.

I know how much better I feel because of the changes I am making in my own life and I want others to know that same kind of refreshing that comes from the change. I believe that you can do it but you must want to change.

You can do it. Will you is the question that only you can answer.