In my small group, high school guys, and I believe it is probably true of most people in the Church today, it seems that breaks in routine are not often times of refreshing and spiritual growth. When there is more free time to read and pray it seems we often don't use that time to move our souls toward Christ, but often we waste the time by sleeping in; we stay up late with friends, watch too much TV, too many movies and video games, visit about nothing important and you can fill in your own list.
I want to see myself following Christ more today than yesterday. I want to be more passionate about souls today than last week. I want to love reading my Bible more now than I did last month. It seems that the daylight hours are longer and so I have to find more "things" to do to fill them up.
I hate being distracted with good things. I hate having stuff to do that takes my attention off of Christ. I was thinking this morning that I am in a much better spiritual place when I feel desperate, than when things are going generally good for me. I don't fell like I am discontent with my circumstances except maybe they are too good. I don't want to be like the Israelites who went from "we will only serve God" one minute to "they followed after other gods" the next. They followed closest when they were desperate.
I want to be desperately following Christ even when it is going good. Pride must be what takes this away from me. I must be inwardly thinking that it is all good right now and that, somehow very wrongly, I don't need to bother God right now with what I have going on, because I can handle it from here. Like I give Him control when it is really hard and then I can take over when it gets more normal. That is crazy.
I want to change the way I live. I want to live as if my life depended on God every minute of every day; because it does.
Lord draw me nearer to Yourself. Don't let me love other lesser thing because that kind of love fades so quickly. I am weak and am so prone to wander toward things that need to be done but in doing them let me focus on You. Don't let me find other things to do, except to follow You. Let me minister to those around me and dwell in the shelter of Your wings. Take pride away from me see that I am most useful as Your humble servant. There is none like You and there is nothing that compares to You. You are First and Last and the Best of everything. I can not love unless You cause me to love, so please make me love all that You love and hate what You hate. Be my Magnificent Obsession.