Monday, December 15, 2008

To answer the questions from "Fathers"

I will try to answer as best I can, without giving my opinion.

Humbly and carefully I say that I see God's Word giving no directive for wives to work outside the home. My wife is to be my helper and completer, and that may mean she is able to help me in our business. That can take on many different forms; from going to functions representing our family business, to general helping any way she is gifted. She is great to have at the home shows, as everyone loves her and her heart for people shines when she is there, but I work around her schedule at home as much as I can. BUT I do think the family business issue could be hard for some.

I don't have Teresa work very much for PG, because I think she is better able to help me at home. I also want her to be available to help and serve others and if she is required to work that limits her ability to do that.

As for the dad side of my responsibility; I truly believe that it is my responsibility to give Kimmy the best education possible to establish her for the years to come, whatever that may entail. She is a unique individual, as is every other young lady, and it is our job as dad's to get them ready for what lies ahead.

Is college as sin? I don't think so. Is it the best choice for every young lady? No.
In Kimmy's case she has dreamed and worked towards being a wife and a mom her entire life. I don't think God would give her the intense desire to be something and then take it away, but He may have other plans. If He does not have marriage in her future then she will need to learn contentment to an entirely different level. God is good and He will bring to her what is best for her.

So, is there something that she can get at college that she couldn't get right here in the local church? Not if we are doing our job as a body.

Discipleship, both pouring into her and being poured out, can certainly happen here and probably better than at college where the relationships are shortened by school years. Here the relationships should continue as long as people are together.

Training, both her training others and her being trained, can happen here, though different, this can happen as much as in a college setting. BUT, the opportunities have to be optimized. Just like everything else in our lives, we can either minimize or maximize just about anything.

If there is a service opportunity and I let her take it on fully, then she will get the most from the situation, whether it is hard or easy. She has to learn to deal with people, both older and younger, she has to learn to submit to authority, to lead, follow or come along side of another. She will learn the art of budgeting, managing expenses, critiquing an event at its conclusion with a goal toward excellence and just generally working with people in a way that she can enjoy the process. Does that mean this happens every time? No, but it is the goal. Does every thing she does turn out with excellence? No, but that is also the goal, like perfection is the goal of our Christian walk.

Her opportunities from NOT being at college have been many and diverse. She has been able to go to Berlin multiple times to help the Green family. This has given her even more of a desire to be a wife and a mom. This has helped her see submission, support, love for children, selflessness and so many other things. If she would have been on a college schedule this opportunity would not have been available.

She has been able to work at PG for the last few months and has a really close relationship with our receptionist. This would not have been available if she was in college.

She has had the opportunity to stay and help many of the younger moms in our church who have young children. She has learned many things in this time as well. How in the world do you get those kids out of bed, do the laundry, feed the 2 that aren't sick while nursing the sick one back to health, be the helper to her husband, shop for groceries and teach the kids, whether in a home school setting, or just generally teach and train them? You can't get that in college. Home-ec, yes, real life, no.

And then there is ministry in general. She has been able to help Sean plan events, prepare for snow retreat and whatever else he needs help with. She is like his extended TA. Our church could not afford to pay him to have help in this way, yet she is available to come along side him and help him with whatever he needs. She has an amazing friend in his wife, Mo, who helps her understand what it is like to be a pastor's wife, something that Kimmy also would like to be.

So, in not so short form, I do think college is a preference. I think that every case is different. I think that boys are different than girls, in this area. Again, another preference. And I am pretty sure that there is no verse that tells me that my wife should work OUTSIDE the home.

I am truly receptive to listen to any verses any may have on this subject, but please keep them in context.

Lastly, God has been so good to me and blessed me with a great wife and kids who also want to follow His directing. We must do what we know He has called us to do and be before He will give us more responsibilities. Uphold one another in prayer as you wrestle with these issues. If you are praying for someone, it will make it much easier to be forbearing with them.

If this is the biggest issue that you have to deal with in your life, you have a great life:)


Bekah said...

GREAT POST!! This is the post I have been waiting to read! That you are doing what is best for your family. Leading them in the way that God is leading you. Not to say that one way is wrong or less biblical but following your own convictions that the Holy Spirit has given you. In fact, to go against the conviction that the Holy Spirit has given you would be sin (Romans 14:23).
God has given husbands and fathers the most difficult responsibilities in regards to leading their homes. I am so glad that all I have to do is follow Curtis' lead!

cwblogger said...

Chuck, how do you understand the phrase "work at home?"

Anonymous said...

You just answered my Saturday questions without me asking, since I didn't get to finish my conversation with you. Thanks for reading my mind!