Life is full of crazy twists and turns but I hope the path I am on is straight and narrow.
This week has been no exception from what seems to be my "norm", with many people at the house, work going along, meetings and many uncontrollable things happening around me. I say "uncontrollable" because they are uncontrollable to me, not Him.
I have been petitioning with the Father in quite a few arenas lately and He always answers our prayers, just not always in the way or the time that I think it should be done. I did change pronouns because I wanted to be inclusive of all OUR prayers and didn't want to necessarily want to place all of you into my basket of small faith. If you think you should be in it then jump in with me.
The significant areas of wrestling with God are sales for PG and an agency for the kids in Ethiopia. I'll start with the kids since that is may be closer to finished and happened first chronologically.
Without an agency to work with, the orphanage can't place kids and those kids are not provided for, if some are not being placed. That is the real short way of saying this. Through a series of "uncontrollable" circumstances the previous agency went away and so the founder of the orphanage thought that they may have to shut it down. Why would God bring all those kids together and put them in, not only the lives of their caregivers in Ethiopia but in our hearts after seeing them there, to then be left orphans again? That was my question to God; Why? Are You not going to take care if them? Are you going to live them after bringing them in?
The answer seems like it can always be "For MY Glory". I want God to answer quickly and exactly how I want Him to. That's not how He works and His answer is always better. This week the orphanage got not just one agency but 2, which will make it easier to get more kids placed because there is more people to help spread out the work load. Praise Him for His excellent work. He is the Father to the fatherless- Jehovah Jireh- The Lord Who Provides.
Sales at PG. It has been a pretty busy week with people coming in and it seems there are many projects in the works. Leads, projects, appointments and the likes do not pay salaries, light bill and mortgages. The bank takes cash not promises. Waiting on God takes faith.
Last night I came home pretty discouraged at our ability to get people from the point of looking to making a decision. Many seem like they are interested in us working with them but are non committal. I came home and sat in this chair and started to read my Hudson Taylor book. His life is a big encouragement to me. I have been reading my Bible a lot and praying more than is par for me, but what is God trying to teach me and will I learn it before it is too late for PG?
Teresa had picked up a movie called "Flywheel" and she said that the people at the rental store told her it was made cheaply but it was really good. I wanted to read. She tenderly got me to go watch the movie, though reluctantly. Good movie and the critics were right- cheap but good message, especially for me right now.
A Christian movie with a message about my own life literally right now. How does God do those kinds of things? When I came down from watching the movie I had received a package and it had some encouraging words that I needed to read. How does God do that? When I finished reading those I checked my email and a project that I have spent a fair amount of time on emailed me back and said they are on and "Do you take Visa?" How does God do that?
We are far from "out of the woods" in either of these forests but both of these things are really out of my control and so I just need to trust and wait on Him. That is so hard for me to do. I don't want to be the person that God has to continue to teach the same lesson to over and over again. I want to get it the first or second time- do I really know what He is trying to teach me right now? Could it be as simple as "give it to me"?
May I be teachable and willing to learn.
Ps. 130:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts- or anxieties!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
This is where I want to live.