Ps. 18 meditation

Ps. 18:1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
6 In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

You are the only true source of strength, yet the best source, You are a sure footing for my feet, a Shelter in time of storm, and The Hero that comes to my rescue.
You are my defense against the arrows of the evil one, the only Savior, and place I am most secure.
When I call on You Lord, the One who is most worthy of my praise, you save me from those who would want to do me harm.
When I am low I cry out to You, I beg You for mercy when I am in the corner with no way out. When looking up to You is my only way out, that is the best place for me to be.
And when I do call on You Lord, You hear my cry for help. How amazing it is to know that my prayers reach the ears of the Almighty.

20The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me.
21For I have kept the ways of the LORD,
and have not wickedly departed from my God.
22For all his rules were before me,
and his statutes I did not put away from me.
23I was blameless before him,
and I kept myself from my guilt.
24So the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

What a scary thing it is for You to deal with me according to my own righteousness. I have no righteousness of my own and my hands; are my hands really clean? Let my hands be clean in Your sight oh Lord, that when You deal with me I would find favor in your sight.
Of my own, I have no desire to walk according to Your way, but you give me the desire. Keep me close to Your way that I may grow to love it above everything this world has to offer.
Of my own, I have not been blameless and I have been guilty of too much to recount, but in You I am blameless before the Father. So reward me according to Your righteousness imputed to me and Your cleanness that has washed me in Your blood, rather than what I truly deserve.

25With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
26with the purified you show yourself pure;
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.
27For you save a humble people,
but the haughty eyes you bring down.
28For it is you who light my lamp;
the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
29For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall.
30This God—his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

May You make me merciful so that You in turn will show me mercy.
May I be blameless in Your eyes as You show me what it looks like to be blameless.
Purity does not come natural to me, so may you give me a glimpse into the purity that only can be found in You, and then change me.
Keep me from being a crooked man, so I will never need to see Your dreadful power.
You have brought me low to honor Yourself and may I never think again that I have done anything good on my own, or because of my own strength and wisdom.
You give light to my heart and illuminate the darkness of this world around me with the Light of You.
You multiply my strength and in You I have energy to do things I don't have to do in my own power.
You God-alone-are perfect. Your Word is proven right and true over and over again and in You I have a place to take refuge from the storm.

Thank you Lord for all that You are. Thank you for being perfect in every attribute. Thank you that you do not deal with me according to my own righteousness, but that You give me Christ's righteousness; oh how terrifying it would be for me if you did deal with me as I deserve. Thanks for the trials that You give to me, as You discipline the ones You love and allow things in my life to help me to see my dependence on You more. Though this is difficult, in the trial, You give strength for the moment, like You gave manna for each day and none could be reserved. You are my only Good, my only Hope, my only Strength and The Only Prize worth running for. Show me enough of Your goodness each minute to keep me pressing on for the Prize , but not so much that I think I can make it on my own. I quickly forget where my strength comes from, and I desire to be drawing my strength and wisdom only from You.
You are Good to me, You have given me much more than I deserve, You have made level paths for me and I have taken those smooth roads for granted. Thank you for the bumps that I am currently going over that have caused me to look only to You.