Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Love Your Children Well

Being a parent today is a tough job. There are so many choices to make and so many good things to do. How do you choose?

Let me say that I don't think I'm a great parent, and I am not saying this for anyone to disagree and tell me otherwise. Really.

Parenting is a lot of work and a huge responsibility, but it also can be a great joy. God has blessed us with 3 great kids. They are not perfect, but they have soft hearts.

I want to tell you where I think I could have done better so this can help those of you that have not yet reached this part of the road yet.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Whether it's talking too much or too little. Being thrifty or not. Being on the lazy side or the industrious side. All our character traits have a plus and a minus and when we raise our kids we need to remind them which of our traits they have and how we have learned, if we have, to manage those weaknesses. It is interesting to me, as I sit by Grant's bed, to see the traits he has that are mine that I wish he would not have picked up. Thankfully he is a lot like his mother. You know exactly what I'm talking about if you have kids of your own.

When I was reading some of the cards sent in to Grant, one of them said that I was a "mentor" to someone. Well I guess I don't really think about that too much. I do what I believe is right and just go on. Maybe I need to pay more attention to being an example to those that are under my care. We are always changing the lives of our kids for better or for worse. We are all role models whether we think we are or not, and whether or not we want to be.

I am so thankful for the people in my kids' lives who have come along side of Teresa and I to help us raise them to be the people they are today. We are crazy to think that we can raise kids w/o the help of others in their lives.

I need to love my boys, and Kimmy, and show them I love them the way they need to be shown love. For each one that will look a little different. I need to figure that out and then do it. While being with Grant I know that the reason I have had 3 surgeries previously is to prepare me for Grant's surgery this week. W/o those 3 before hand I wouldn't have sympathy and empathy for him. I normally don't have too much room for someone that is sick. Many of the kids/people who know me will tell you that I say "just buck up". Boys need to grow up to be men and that means they need to be shown how to work hard and work when they're not feeling good, but we need to know where the line is. I haven't done a great job in this department. I need to be a sweeter, tough man.

Boys need to be loved by their dads, and they need to know they are loved. I love my boys, but do they know it all the time?

My kids know the standard is high, but do they know that I love them when they don't meet the standard? I think I often focus on the standard instead of them.

Teresa has been telling me that they are going to be gone pretty soon and she is right. I need to make sure they know that I'm proud of them all the time.

This has been a good reminder for me this week and I thank God He has put me right next to Grant so I could minister to him in this time and in this way.

All you dad's out there, learn from my short comings.

We have 3 great kids only because God is gracious. Many of you are doing a much better job than I am, so praise God and excel still more.

Ps. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who greatly delights in his commandments!
2His offspring will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.

How sweet it is to see so many of our young men loving the Lord and pouring back into the lives of our sons. Pray that we would be men who aren't afraid to show love to our boys. Pray that our boys would love the Lord and love His Word.

Praising God for His gentle prompting,

Click here to read the next part, "Prayer Map"


Ryan Hall said...

Thank you for sharing your heart.

I agree that being a parent is hard work. I fail at it often. I am always thankful for the lessons God teaches me through being a dad. Jolie and I took the parenting class at church and that was very helpful to see where we do it our way instead of God's way. I am thankful for His Word. I want to be a parent that honors God with how I raise my kids. I am growing and learning through it all. The Lord is good.

Praise the Lord for Grant. It is encouraging to see your faith grow stronger in the Lord and your heart for your family. God bless you.

We continue to pray for Grant's recovery and also for the other kids and their echocardiograms.

Blessings my friend.

Leila said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leila said...

I've been reading Doug Wilson's "Future Men" and feel thoroughly overhwhelmed and underprepared - how can God expect two sinful, immature twenty-somethings to raise a child in wisdom and love of the Lord?! It is good, though, to feel faulty and inadequate - I hate it, but it's so good for me. And I wanted to say that all of us have seen through this a growth in the "sweet" side of tough Chuck. We knew it was there all along, anyway ;).

Micah James Lugg said...

It is encouraging to hear you give a full-orbed picture of manliness, not dominating on the rough side nor on the soft side - both need to be there. I think the Scriptures call us to both. Thanks for being a good example of that, or at least of one who is striving for that :)