This is from a parent who posted a comment on the blog.
I have heard people say, "It is not my job to assure my child of their salvation, it is the Holy Spirit's job." How do you do this with a young teen, who is professing faith? How do you encourage them, yet not give them a false sense of security if you are not sure of their salvation yourself?
This was my reply to her question, but I want you all to add or subtract anything that is necessary. We are to be about making disciples, even if we never meet them on earth. It would be good of God to use us in some small way to help others make disciples. Please comment.
"I hope that some of our other staff will chime in on this as well.
We need to be very careful when reassuring others salvation. The cost is too great to be wrong.
When searching for fruit we should not be looking for things that can be done in the flesh, like being pleasant or helpful, but we should look for things like selflessness, a desire for spiritual things and a love for the Word. Not perfection but direction. Look at where they were last month and are they growing?
Our kids/students need to be challenged in their walk. They don't need to have some easy believism taught to them. The Christian life requires that we are willing to give up all that we are and have to follow Christ. Do you see that willingness? If so, there is your encouragement.
We all want to see our kids walking with the Lord, but we certainly don't want to give them assurance when we are questioning their salvation ourselves.
Who do they hang around with? The cool kids or the godly kids? Those generally are not the same. Do they have a web page of some sort? You can see their fruit and their friends by reading those. It may make you cry to read what is in their hearts, but better to ask the hard questions, in love, now than be too late. They want you to be concerned and ask them, even though they may squirm and act mad. In the end if they know you love them enough to be uncomfortable yet ask anyway, that will speak volumes to them.
God gives us those instincts for a reason. Pray that He would give you the right words, at the right time and with the right heart and go talk. It may be the hardest, best thing you will ever do for them.
We will pray for you. God is BIG and He draws those He loves to Himself. We are stewards of many things, including our kids."
5 comments:
Hello, Chuck.
Thanks for your post.
From what I can tell, my two girls are not saved. And at the point that they profess to be a Christian, I pray that they would find their assurance from the Holy Scriptures, themselves.
Because if they are not saved they can't produce any fruit. What I look for is like what you said, a "desire for spiritual things", and a love for the things of God.
I always try to go after the heart, and expose their sin while bringing it back to the gospel.
I think the only thing we as parents can do is pray, pray and then pray some more, while finding ways to reprove, rebuke, and exhort them in the teachings of God's Word. When God saves them, and they mature in Christ, they will grow stronger in the Lord, and be quick to follow after Him and His ways, no matter what the cost.
The content in "Finally Alive" by John Piper might be too complex to throw at a younger teen, but it might be worth a read so that the parent can better think the issues through. Then perhaps it can guide discourse.
The purpose of the book from what I understand is to discuss authentic rebirth.
The book is new and available for free reading at desiringgod.org webpage.
Thanks for commenting, Ryan and Eric. I think this is a good subject to dwell on and speak out.
For sure God is the one who does the saving, but we don't want to be giving the wrong impression either.
I will post again on another similar situation we had last night.
God is working and the forces of darkness are not happy about it.
I know for me I don't have kids of my own, but i do have 13 high school girls that I am seeking to see be complete in Christ! They are all at different stages "in the game". We have saved and on fire all the way to apathetic and unsure, to not professing Christ. With each of them we (the other leaders and I) talk about their friut/"fruit". We are called to "judge" by their fruit! We talk about what we see and how it lines up with scripture. I use phrases like "you say/do this but Scripture says this" or "Judging by your fruit I have to say I don't think you are saved and IF you are, you need to repent of this on going sin/sins". Because the thing is I don't know for sure if they are saved or not! I just have to be faithful to point out what I see!!!! And don't forget that actions and words are coming out of the heart... And when they are bearing fruit ALL THE GLORY GOES TO HIM! For it is ONLY though him we can have fruit! :)
It's direction NOT perfection as JZ (our pastor) says! :)
Nice comment Kim.
JZ's direction and not perfection really brings it into focus.
And your insights are good, and I have to remember this stuff when working with the one28 students.
Your thoughts have really encouraged me. Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment